Old School Romantic in Hookup Hell

romanticWell, I know for certain I can’t be the only person who has ever thought this, because I’m not the one who came up with the meme. What I DO know is that when I saw it, I felt like I was drawn to it…it was an odd feeling to be quite truthful!

Other than the last d-bag that I “dated”, I haven’t been in any sort of long term, serious relationship since September of 2017. My ex-husband really did a number on my self-confidence and trust in men. I suppose that happens when you find out he had cheated on you…a lot.

Needless to say, that’s kinda been my luck with the men.  I just seem to pick the wrong guys. Ya know, the “Prince Charming” who ends up being a toad.  Not even a frog, but a toxic, self-centered, narcissistic, cheating, lying, well, you get the idea. I can’t say that about all of them throughout my life, some just made better friends and we are friends to this day (I’ll talk about my exes some other time…that’s about a month’s worth of 1 or 2 posts a day, trust me!).  But lately, regardless of my efforts and how straight-forward I am about what I am looking for (a LTR), I just seem to run across the f*%kboys. Most of my relationships are long term. I mean, what is the sense of dating someone just for the sake of changing your Facebook status? I want someone to make memories with, have fun and take adventures to new places, go traveling, 4-wheeling, hiking, fancy dinners out and romantic picnics in the middle of nowhere. I want to come home to someone and ask them how their day was, have them ask how mine was, and actually be interested! I have a great paying job, I’m not after anyone’s money, I’m certainly not going to support them though, that’s for sure. I want to be proud of my man who works hard every day, someone that pushes me to be better as a person and I do the same for him. Whether it’s dating online, meeting someone new when I’m out, whatever…I’m up front-I want a relationship. Not a one night stand, not a f-buddy, yes, I want to get to know someone before anything serious…the same ‘ol song and dance. I’m always up front and honest. Then what happens? We go on a few dates or hang out for a while, start liking each other (or so I believe it’s going both ways), I get told what I want to hear, and it ends up all they want is a hook-up. How is it that people can go through so much just to schmooze someone to get laid?? Ghost me or I won’t hear from them for a while, then all they want is to casual hook-up a few weeks later. Kiss my ass dude! I don’t sleep with someone unless I really like them, so obviously I caught feelings along the way…you knew my intentions from day one, I was pretty clear! Now you think you can text or snap or message me any time because I fell for your bs once? Life after divorce these days is hell! Being single is hell! I want a meaningful relationship with someone who cares as much for me as I care for them. Why doesn’t anyone want that anymore? Why is it so hard to find? Or if there is someone who is interested, I have zero attraction to him whatsoever or he is 15 years older than me and thinks by offering me travel and anything I want is the way to win my heart because their looks don’t. I’m not about money. I’m about the whole package. I would take honestly and loyalty and playfulness and adventure over a large bank account any day. I know he is out there somewhere, I guess for now all I do is keep smiling and hope that is enough to bring him my way.

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